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The science behind Self-Confidence: 5 Steps To Become Confident

The alarm rings, and here you are. You are waking up to do something that you do not want to do. Feeling something that you do not want to be feeling.

Sounds familiar? I don't know about you but I have these days. Going to bed feeling that lack of excitement. Feeling that things are not as they are supposed to be.

Sofia Kakkava Coaching boosting your self-condidence.
Sofia in Panama conquering all her dreams. Shot by Andres Niño, Panama City

In this blog, I want to share with you the secrets of self-confidence and some science-based tricks to lift yourself up by increasing the perception of your self-worth.

Think about the person in your life or at work who has a strong belief in their abilities and in themselves. How would you describe them? What do you observe in their productivity? What do you observe in their energy? Do you believe that they will succeed in their life?

Do you want to know a secret?

If you don't believe in yourself first, no one else will. 🤯

Yes, I know. You've heard it before. Perhaps you've even had the same question as many others:

How? If I don't believe in myself, how will I start believing?

You're right. It's an oxymoron but there is no magic behind it.

Why do people end up not believing in themselves?

It starts with social pressure, in modern society many people tell themselves that they are not worth anything. They have been told by parents, professors, and poor managers that they should not believe in themselves. And this leads you to focus on failure, and the fear of failure gets bigger and bigger in your life. When the right people do not surround you to support your growth and your success, you won’t build your self-esteem. Your mindset ends up focusing on scarcity and the fear of failure instead of looking at the opportunities and the abundance around you.

⚠️ Remember that it’s hard to do anything when you don’t believe you can do it. A lack of belief in yourself means you are less likely to act, change, or push to make things better. When you expect you will fail, you are more likely to fail (Bénabou & Tirole, 2002).

The point is that you can't expect to wake up one day with the confidence you need to take action.

You need to take action to gain confidence.

The conclusion is that we were taught wrong. You're not born with confidence. You acquire it!

The self-signaling you do is more important than those things you have ever thought about yourself.

Even if you don't believe in yourself right now, you can still achieve what you dream of. You should take action and start being the person who achieves.

You already know it. There have been many times in your life when you didn’t believe in yourself and proved yourself wrong. Remember the big and small obstacles you overcame so far in your life. Don’t be afraid of it. All you have to do is to take action, enforce your problem-solving mindset, and move forward.

The truth is that this won’t happen overnight. Let’s find out what self-confidence is and how to build it.

The key components of believing in yourself

  • Self-worth. The sense of value as a human being.

  • Self-confidence. A positive attitude about your abilities, qualities, and judgment.

  • Self-trust. The faith that you can rely on yourself.

  • Autonomy. Being able to choose and direct your own behavior.

  • Environmental mastery. The realization that your efforts will result in the changes you desire.

Are you ready to build your self-confidence and you don’t know where to start? Here is your guide.

1 - Opinions are not facts.

*Repeat it out loud.*

Remember that time when you were really proud of yourself and then someone came with their opinion and they just screwed everything up. It hurts right? It should not. Each person sees life from a different point of view.

You are ruling your own life, no one else knows what is right or wrong for you. It is about time to understand that people’s comments are not facts. It is just their thoughts out loud, and it is okay for someone to have their opinion. We are all entitled to opinions. But this should not influence your life, your choices, or your self-worth.

Learn to take feedback critically and consider where there is something you can use in the comment to change and grow as a person.

If the feedback is useful, then apply it and show gratitude that someone supported you. If the feedback comes from the wrong point, then let it go. People perceive you from their level of perception.

2 - Surround yourself with positivity.

Surround yourself with positive people and rid yourself of as much negativity as possible. As long as you let yourself be around people and situations that build uncertainty and fear you won’t progress.

You need to build an environment where opportunities are more than fears. Look at the abundance of the world rather than the scarcity. Look at the value rather than the misery.

3 - Be your own coach.

Invest in your education, and in your growth. Seek out tools and opportunities for your self-development and knowledge. TAKE ACTION FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

Learning more about yourself will lead you to fewer stress levels, and more self-confidence and you will become less judgmental of yourself and others. This step will help you achieve your goals and have more clarity in your life.

4 - Growth takes time.

As I’ve already mentioned, this is not an overnight process. You will need to work with yourself. You will need to learn more about yourself. You should seek knowledge and guidance. Even if you don’t believe in yourself right now, you are still learning and growing. You need to remember that you are growing, and you will make mistakes, as everyone. This does not mean that you are a bad person. This means that you are a person on the growth path.

Let go of perfectionism. The pressure of having it all together is just slowing you down and causing you to doubt yourself. You are where you are, you are on the right journey, the journey of YOUR LIFE, and that is amazing.

Remember that you are not all your successes or failures; you are so much more than that. A failure is an event, not a personal characteristic. Your self-belief will thrive when you release these unrealistic expectations.

5 - Challenge yourself.

Your belief system is one of the most powerful tools you have. You act based on what you believe, and your actions indicate who you are. Do you see that recurring circle? Time to change the patterns!

Believing in something can change the way you see the world and yourself (either positively or negatively) and you can change your life by overcoming your limiting beliefs.

Do you see more opportunities or obstacles? Do you experience a stuck living in your current situation? Or do you see prospects and opportunities to develop yourself and create the life you want?

If you don’t feel confident right now, go and improve yourself. Find new educational and/or work opportunities. Learn new skills. Create a bigger network.

By believing that change is possible, you’ll be consciously choosing ways to grow.

To make a real change in your life you have to get uncomfortable. You have to step out of your comfort zone and try out life. It’s your life and you don’t need to live it to anyone’s expectations but your own.

Shot by Andres Niño, Panama City

Remember: You have to do the work to create the life you want!

Don’t be afraid to ask for help, support, and guidance. When low self-esteem is low, it can be hard to nurture it all by yourself. Sometimes you need a confidence boost from the right people who do believe in you.

Take this action and seek for the right tools for you, for your own good! You will learn more, you will get in the right direction and you will succeed in life.

Are you wondering how to move forward from here and how to make this change reality? There is nothing better than having the right tools and the right guidance.

  • Do you want to build an international network that will support you and cheer you up?

  • Do you want to have professional group coaching to support you in reaching your goals?

  • Do you want to have a deeper understanding of yourself, and your abilities and boost your confidence?

  • Do you want to invest in yourself?

  • Do you want to educate yourself and get the maximum benefit of your potential?

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Something to always remember is that your self-belief comes from you, and no one can take it away without your consent. You have the power to validate yourself and your self-esteem and the power to ignore negativity in the pursuit of your own goals.


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